my little BIG brother

my little brother is not so little anymore. he turns 19 in a few weeks i can't believe it. i have trouble remembering things that happened just a few years ago, yet i remember the day he was born, and the day we brought him home from the hospital, like it was yesterday. i even remember the day that my mom and dad told us (me and ry) that my mom was pregnant.

i was 9 years old and i had had a bad day at school. i fell during gym class and skinned both my knees pretty badly and then i got one of my notorious migraines. needless to say i wasn't very happy when i got home from school. when my dad got home from work my parents called ryan and i into the kitchen and asked us to sit down at the kitchen table. my mom proceeded to tell us that we were getting something new and that they wanted us to guess what it was. we had no idea, but we were excited...so we started yelling out things like, a dog? a cat? a bird? a gerbil? a hamster? we kept guessing wrong so my mom gave us another clue. she said, it has 2 arms and 2 legs. i was stumped. i had already names all the possible animals that i could think of, so i said "a dinosaur?" this made my mom and dad laugh really hard. finally my mom said "do you give up?" and ryan and i said "YES!" and then my mom said she was having a baby. i was ecstatic! i loved babies and wanted nothing more than to have a REAL baby to play with. over the next several months i became very involved in my mom's pregnancy. i served as her spokes person, telling every person we came into contact with that she was having a baby. i went with her to her doctor's appointments and was fascinated with the sonograms. the last month of my mom's pregnancy was filled with anticipation. i wanted everyday to be the day that she gave birth. it was a hot summer and that made it hard on my mom, yet she never seemed to slow down much. our neighbors had a swimming pool but they were only out on the weekends, so they gave us permission to use their pool during the week. we spent many hours at their pool that august. every time my mom got in the water the baby( we didn't know if it was a girl or boy) would kick. my mom would always let me know and i'd quickly swim over to her so i could feel the kicks. it was magical to me. my mom was scheduled for a c-section on august 29th. ryan and i spent the night at my grandparents house. in the morning we headed up to the hospital to wait for the new arrival. it felt like we were waiting for DAYS. my grandparents, my dad, ryan, my aunt gay and i, all waited outside of the operating room. my grandfather entertained us by stealing wheelchairs and stretchers in the hallways. and then finally the moment came. the nurse came out rolling a baby cart and she said "its a boy!" i remember being overcome with emotions and immediately i started crying. we all ran over to the cart to catch a glimpse of the sweet little baby. we got to ride in the elevator with the nurse to the nursery. everyone was crying tears of joy, even my dad, and that made me cry even more! a few days later he had a name, jason edward, it took my parents a while to decide between the name jason and justin. i think they made a good choice! before he came home my grandparents helped ryan and i decorate for his arrival. we hung white and baby blue streams all over the place, along with balloons. i even taped up steamers across the entrance to the house, so that my mom would have to cut them before entering the house. he wore the cutest NY giants sweatsuit home from the hospital. he looked adorable and so little! that day was one of the happiest days of my life. i was so excited to have my very own real baby to play with. my dolls did not compare to the real thing! after the excitement of bringing him home my parents sat down on the couch to relax and my grandparents headed home. i remember having a very specific mission in mind and i was very intent on carrying it out. i headed into the living room and asked my parents if i could show jason around the house. they smiled and said yes. so, i took him in my arms and took him into every room in the house. i told him what each room was and what we did in that room. looking back, i'm not sure why that was so important to me. obviously it meant absolutely nothing to a 3 day old baby! yet i loved doing it and will never forget it.

fast forward almost 19 years later and jason is getting ready to enter his sophomore year at high point university. he's a great person, with a big heart and a smile that could melt anyone. we aren't as close as we use to be, but i believe that in time we will again be very close to each other. right now we are just in very different phases of our lives and he has a rigorous social schedule to attend to! he will always be my little brother though, and he will always hold an incredibly special place in my heart. i love you jay! thanks for giving me such special memories.