my tattoo!!!

I finally got my first tattoo! I've been thinking about it for a long time now and I always knew what I wanted to get. It was just a matter of getting the nerve up to do it. I got the Ichthus-better known as the "Christian fish". Here is some history on it:
" Ichthus is the Greek word for fish and it represents the first letters in the words of the Greek phrase meaning "Jesus Christ Son of God. Savior." This earliest Christian symbol was based on many of the disciplines being fishermen. Since Christianity was an underground movement for the first 300 years. The Ichthus was a secret sign that allowed followers to identify themselves to one another. Upon meeting someone, a Christian would quietly make a single arced mark in the earth. If the stranger were Christian he would complete the sign of the fish by adding a reverse arc. Today this simple outline of the fish of the letters IXOYC can be seen worldwide as symbol of one's faith in Jesus Christ, Son of God and Savior. "

I love it!

all blogging aside...

no, seriously...how has it been a month since my last post?!?! wow. let me tell you my life is at the beginning of a new chapter and i'm so excited about it. as many of you well know by now, i got the scholarship i've been praying for, hoping for, dreaming for. sometimes i still can't believe it! the life that i have grown very use to is about to be completely changed. i'm sooooo use to teaching kindergarten. i know i've only been doing it five years-but in this phase of my life that feels like a lifetime. five years ago i still had no idea who i really was and what i really wanted. in five years time i have learned so much about who i am, what i want and who i want to be. however i always thought that the "who i want to be" was out of reach or too big of a dream. but now the dream, the prayer, is coming true. i can't wrap my mind around the fact that i'm only teaching for about thirty more days and then i'm done! no more "nine to five" for me. i'll be a full time student again with a backpack and some classes that won't require me to get out of bed till noon (insert HUGE smiley face) crazy right?!?! of course the whole "nine to five" deal will return when i complete school, but it will be the "nine to five" that i always wanted. aside from all that my trip to africa is right around the corner! despite all the busyness of school, registering for classes, finding a summer job, etc. i'm going to africa! i still can hardly believe it. i feel as if i've walked into god's favor. like he has been at work behind the scenes of my life and just now, this month, i walked through the curtains to see all that he has done. it is amazing and i'm in awe of his goodness to me. i sometimes question how deserving i am of all this. but god quickly reminds me that because of his grace and mercy and unfailing love-i deserve it all.

point of view

it's official!

my flight to swaziland is booked! i'm so excited! it has already been an amazing journey, and i'm not even there yet! god is working in amazing ways. we needed to pay for our plane tickets by march 31st and i do not have enough support money to buy my tickets yet. however, god provided and one of the other team members was able to use her credit card for my ticket. as soon as i have enough support money she will get paid back for the ticket. i've known for a while now about the march 31st deadline-but every time i started to worry about it god said "no, no, no." as in-don't worry about it...i've got it covered. the past 48 hours i started to freak because the deadline was fast approaching and the money was still not here. i should have known better though-i should have listened to god and not worried. lesson learned. i guess i'm just still in awe of how amazing god can be. so i've got my plane ticket (actually SEVEN!) for africa. i'm going, and its all because i serve an amazing god. thanks to all of you for your prayers and support :)

florida

we made it to florida! it feels good to be here. it is so peaceful at my aunt's house. we got in late and slept in this morning. its raining today-but that's okay. it gives us a chance to settle in, visit my grandparents, etc. the forecast for sunday through next saturday is all sun!!! so we will have plenty of time to catch some rays. we are headed to the movies today to see the bank job. it looks like it will be a good one. i hope everyone has a great easter!

life

wow-i haven't blogged in a while. i've been so busy! but lots of good stuff is going on. today i found out i was accepted to UNC!!!! i'm excited. i still need to wait to find out about the scholarship i applied for, but i'm halfway in the door!!! anyways, ryan and i are headed to florida tomorrow to meet up with my mom and visit my grandparents. our plans for the week in florida? sleep in, get a tan, relax.

i can't wait! i really need this. i'll get back to you from the sunshine state!!

happy easter!

by the grace of god...

one year ago today something amazing happened. it was an amazing god thing. and i don't feel i can give it any justice unless i tell the story...so read on.

i woke up with a pit in my stomach-ryan had not come home again. this was one of dozens of nights that he didn't make it home after a long night of drinking. i was mentally and physically exhausted from worrying. my hope was fading and my days were consumed with just making sure he was alive. we barely spoke. my family and i had not given up on ryan-not once...but we had no idea how to help him. he was so lost, so unhappy and so out of control. he had been to rehab twice already, he had been diagnosed with epilepsy, and he wouldn't listen to us anymore. this had been going on for 7 years.

i drove to work and just prayed the entire time-i cried out to the lord as i had thousands of times in the past-i begged him to help ryan. i had been at work only an hour or two when i got a phone call from his girlfriend, elizabeth. ryan had lost control again and ended up at her door step in a drunken state. she would not let him in knowing his condition and he proceeded to punch holes in her door and verbally threaten her. she called the cops-but he got away before they got there. i could not leave work, and what good would it have done anyways? he probably was now at home sleeping it off. i prayed my way through the rest of the day and left immediately after school. i called adam on my way home to see if ryan had showed up at work. he was on his way to the job to check. i told adam to pray-it was clear that ryan's situation was getting worse by the day. i prayed some more.

i got home and ryan was no where to be seen. i called him and left messages, i talked to my parents and asked them to pray. i knew he would be home soon and a confrontation would take place. i prayed.

he came home shortly after i spoke with my parents. he tried to walk right past me and to his room. i stopped him and began talking. what exactly did i say? i don't know. i just know that god was speaking through me and i needed to keep talking. ryan stood in front of me with a blank stare-his eyes were so empty and his shoulders hung low-his knuckles bloody. the longer i talked the more he seemed to listen, until finally something in him broke. in fact i think everything in him broke...his heart, his mind, his physical being, all of it. he began to cry and then sob. he let out years worth of tears. i told him it was time to get help NOW. i got out the phone book-opened it to the yellow pages section titled "addiction" and handed him the phone. he looked at me as if to say"really? right now? i have to do this now?" and i said yes. the events that followed happened only by the grace of god. he entered an outpatient rehab program through unc, he started going to church on a regular basis, he met with our pastor, he started telling the truth. months later he rededicated his life to the lord and was baptized.

i have my brother back-the brother i thought was gone forever. he beat a disease that has affected my family for over 75 years. i believe he broke a generational curse. today he has been sober 365 days. we are closer than we have ever been. he is not just my brother...he is one of my best friends. thank god for what he did. it has been an amazing year and i can't wait to see what he has in store for ryan in the future.

happy one year of sobriety ryan. words hardly express how proud we are of you. i love you...