Saturday, March 29, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
it's official!
my flight to swaziland is booked! i'm so excited! it has already been an amazing journey, and i'm not even there yet! god is working in amazing ways. we needed to pay for our plane tickets by march 31st and i do not have enough support money to buy my tickets yet. however, god provided and one of the other team members was able to use her credit card for my ticket. as soon as i have enough support money she will get paid back for the ticket. i've known for a while now about the march 31st deadline-but every time i started to worry about it god said "no, no, no." as in-don't worry about it...i've got it covered. the past 48 hours i started to freak because the deadline was fast approaching and the money was still not here. i should have known better though-i should have listened to god and not worried. lesson learned. i guess i'm just still in awe of how amazing god can be. so i've got my plane ticket (actually SEVEN!) for africa. i'm going, and its all because i serve an amazing god. thanks to all of you for your prayers and support :)
Saturday, March 22, 2008
florida
we made it to florida! it feels good to be here. it is so peaceful at my aunt's house. we got in late and slept in this morning. its raining today-but that's okay. it gives us a chance to settle in, visit my grandparents, etc. the forecast for sunday through next saturday is all sun!!! so we will have plenty of time to catch some rays. we are headed to the movies today to see the bank job. it looks like it will be a good one. i hope everyone has a great easter!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
life
wow-i haven't blogged in a while. i've been so busy! but lots of good stuff is going on. today i found out i was accepted to UNC!!!! i'm excited. i still need to wait to find out about the scholarship i applied for, but i'm halfway in the door!!! anyways, ryan and i are headed to florida tomorrow to meet up with my mom and visit my grandparents. our plans for the week in florida? sleep in, get a tan, relax.
i can't wait! i really need this. i'll get back to you from the sunshine state!!
happy easter!
i can't wait! i really need this. i'll get back to you from the sunshine state!!
happy easter!
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
by the grace of god...
one year ago today something amazing happened. it was an amazing god thing. and i don't feel i can give it any justice unless i tell the story...so read on.
i woke up with a pit in my stomach-ryan had not come home again. this was one of dozens of nights that he didn't make it home after a long night of drinking. i was mentally and physically exhausted from worrying. my hope was fading and my days were consumed with just making sure he was alive. we barely spoke. my family and i had not given up on ryan-not once...but we had no idea how to help him. he was so lost, so unhappy and so out of control. he had been to rehab twice already, he had been diagnosed with epilepsy, and he wouldn't listen to us anymore. this had been going on for 7 years.
i drove to work and just prayed the entire time-i cried out to the lord as i had thousands of times in the past-i begged him to help ryan. i had been at work only an hour or two when i got a phone call from his girlfriend, elizabeth. ryan had lost control again and ended up at her door step in a drunken state. she would not let him in knowing his condition and he proceeded to punch holes in her door and verbally threaten her. she called the cops-but he got away before they got there. i could not leave work, and what good would it have done anyways? he probably was now at home sleeping it off. i prayed my way through the rest of the day and left immediately after school. i called adam on my way home to see if ryan had showed up at work. he was on his way to the job to check. i told adam to pray-it was clear that ryan's situation was getting worse by the day. i prayed some more.
i got home and ryan was no where to be seen. i called him and left messages, i talked to my parents and asked them to pray. i knew he would be home soon and a confrontation would take place. i prayed.
he came home shortly after i spoke with my parents. he tried to walk right past me and to his room. i stopped him and began talking. what exactly did i say? i don't know. i just know that god was speaking through me and i needed to keep talking. ryan stood in front of me with a blank stare-his eyes were so empty and his shoulders hung low-his knuckles bloody. the longer i talked the more he seemed to listen, until finally something in him broke. in fact i think everything in him broke...his heart, his mind, his physical being, all of it. he began to cry and then sob. he let out years worth of tears. i told him it was time to get help NOW. i got out the phone book-opened it to the yellow pages section titled "addiction" and handed him the phone. he looked at me as if to say"really? right now? i have to do this now?" and i said yes. the events that followed happened only by the grace of god. he entered an outpatient rehab program through unc, he started going to church on a regular basis, he met with our pastor, he started telling the truth. months later he rededicated his life to the lord and was baptized.
i have my brother back-the brother i thought was gone forever. he beat a disease that has affected my family for over 75 years. i believe he broke a generational curse. today he has been sober 365 days. we are closer than we have ever been. he is not just my brother...he is one of my best friends. thank god for what he did. it has been an amazing year and i can't wait to see what he has in store for ryan in the future.
happy one year of sobriety ryan. words hardly express how proud we are of you. i love you...
i woke up with a pit in my stomach-ryan had not come home again. this was one of dozens of nights that he didn't make it home after a long night of drinking. i was mentally and physically exhausted from worrying. my hope was fading and my days were consumed with just making sure he was alive. we barely spoke. my family and i had not given up on ryan-not once...but we had no idea how to help him. he was so lost, so unhappy and so out of control. he had been to rehab twice already, he had been diagnosed with epilepsy, and he wouldn't listen to us anymore. this had been going on for 7 years.
i drove to work and just prayed the entire time-i cried out to the lord as i had thousands of times in the past-i begged him to help ryan. i had been at work only an hour or two when i got a phone call from his girlfriend, elizabeth. ryan had lost control again and ended up at her door step in a drunken state. she would not let him in knowing his condition and he proceeded to punch holes in her door and verbally threaten her. she called the cops-but he got away before they got there. i could not leave work, and what good would it have done anyways? he probably was now at home sleeping it off. i prayed my way through the rest of the day and left immediately after school. i called adam on my way home to see if ryan had showed up at work. he was on his way to the job to check. i told adam to pray-it was clear that ryan's situation was getting worse by the day. i prayed some more.
i got home and ryan was no where to be seen. i called him and left messages, i talked to my parents and asked them to pray. i knew he would be home soon and a confrontation would take place. i prayed.
he came home shortly after i spoke with my parents. he tried to walk right past me and to his room. i stopped him and began talking. what exactly did i say? i don't know. i just know that god was speaking through me and i needed to keep talking. ryan stood in front of me with a blank stare-his eyes were so empty and his shoulders hung low-his knuckles bloody. the longer i talked the more he seemed to listen, until finally something in him broke. in fact i think everything in him broke...his heart, his mind, his physical being, all of it. he began to cry and then sob. he let out years worth of tears. i told him it was time to get help NOW. i got out the phone book-opened it to the yellow pages section titled "addiction" and handed him the phone. he looked at me as if to say"really? right now? i have to do this now?" and i said yes. the events that followed happened only by the grace of god. he entered an outpatient rehab program through unc, he started going to church on a regular basis, he met with our pastor, he started telling the truth. months later he rededicated his life to the lord and was baptized.
i have my brother back-the brother i thought was gone forever. he beat a disease that has affected my family for over 75 years. i believe he broke a generational curse. today he has been sober 365 days. we are closer than we have ever been. he is not just my brother...he is one of my best friends. thank god for what he did. it has been an amazing year and i can't wait to see what he has in store for ryan in the future.
happy one year of sobriety ryan. words hardly express how proud we are of you. i love you...
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